I'm going crazy. I'm so unmotivated, yet thoughts are running rampant through my mind. It's a quiet freakout. I want to talk to people yet I'm pushing them away. I know I'm loved, yet I think I'm bothersome. The desire to information gather cancelled out by complete apathy. I care, but I don't. I'm nosy, but no longer curious. The mindless chatter ping ponging back and forth in an empty warehouse. I feel merciless towards myself, yet deserving.
I'm overrun with controversies and conundrums I don't even know what's happening anymore. So I try to shut down, but I can't because I'm literally going crazy for no reason at all. I'm constantly checking for responses and new information. I feel like an attention whore but I'm hiding. PAY ATTENTION TO ME!! Oh, but I don't want to inconvenience you. If you're busy and otherwise preoccupied, I'll be fine, just sitting in my corner over here.. Going crazy by myself.
I really don't have anything worthwhile to say. I just want some company and companionship. I would even settle for being in your presence. (sighs.) That seems a bit desperate of me. I guess I really am pathetic and immature, like an overly loyal puppy, or attention-demanding kitty. I feel like I need a new hobby, something else to distract me.
Wait a minute, I recognize this place. I've been here many times throughout my life. Before every major transition and life moment. This place reeks of stagnant air and anticipation, dreaded fear and complete boredom. This place is the waiting room.
Limbo. Emptiness. I'm going crazy.
Somebody please distract me.
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