There's a friend who believes that I am missing out on some important experiences in life. He was pretty shocked when I told him I never had a boyfriend, much less kissed a guy.
So... Sex, huh? Is that what it all boils down to? If that's what it is, then I don't want sex. Especially outside of marriage. There's so many risks, STDs, VDs, babies, and emotional torment. So what's the plus? "Feel good." Really? Because I don't want to share that level of deep intimacy with someone I'm not married to. Sex is supposed to bring a man and a woman closer together, it's actually a blessing in a marriage, and also a way to reproduce. Outside of a marriage, well... Anyway, it's not something I consider a good idea.
And this is where I'm torn. Since there's an opportunity, it does pique my curiosity a little. What is it really like? Will I feel like a different person afterwards? Is it really all that, like so many people make it out to be? And then again... Do I really want to lose my virginity in that way and just for a stupid reason like curiosity's sake?
In my experience, which is none but what I see, premarital sex actually causes more stress.
Blah.. I don't like this.
Well, Kizzy, when you're in love, it's different. DUH.. I know that already. I know that everything's got a different take on it when you're in a relationship with somebody. You see the world in a different color when you're in love. (maybe a little pink?) But anyway, I don't know.
Maybe it's the "being in love" thing I'm more curious about, not sex. I mean, like I said, my best boyfriend's my cat. Why? Well, I know he loves me. When I have a bad day, he'll come right up and steal my lap for a while. While he's purring away with a little drool and refusing to relinquish my legs, I'm forced to give him at least a little attention. Before long, I'm absentmindedly petting him. It's not only when he wants attention, sometimes I need some loving, and he'll hop right up. Sometimes, he'll hop up on my lap and get right in my face, poke his nose on mine as a little hello and I'll touch my forehead against his. We'll talk sometimes, seriously, he meows like I've never heard before and he's a great listener. I've never had this level of intimacy with anybody or anything else. He makes me laugh. He's been my best playmate growing up and now he's the best comfort I've ever had. My cat's seen me at my worst and at my best. I'm pretty sure that the hardest thing I'll have to go through is when it's his time to go. I have no idea what's gonna happen to me when he does.
I've never shared this level of intimacy with anybody. It's intimacy that I'm more afraid of. Another person knowing just about everything. My faults, my flaws, my insecurities, how much I wish I could change about myself, how I think although I contradict myself occasionally, to tell me my breath stinks and to go brush my teeth.
I'm not really interested in sex. I'm more interested in getting to know the other person. I don't think anything good comes out of premarital sex. Outside of marriage, it's pretty much meaningless. You might share a nice connection with someone, but then, it's just as shaky as it was before. Having sex with a hot guy doesn't seal the deal or anything. And what are you left with? Sometimes a VD, sometimes stress over a missed period and the possibility of an unwanted baby. But what if it was just a hook up? Great, good for you, it's pretty much just like jacking off, you'll feel good for maybe a few minutes, and your life is just as crappy or the same as it was before you jacked off. What's the point of premarital sex? There isn't any. When it comes down to the bottom line, you can't disagree, there isn't any point to premarital sex. You could probably come up with a whole bunch of excuses or "valid" points, but honestly, sex was intended to bring a man and a woman closer together in a marriage.
So, if you want to have sex, then whatever. It really isn't any of my business to tell you what to do. Just please, do me a favor, don't tell me about it. Because I don't care much for sex outside of marriage.
